Join us for a taster evening to preview our Costa Rica Retreat, Radiant Union in February 2017. This evening will be an evening of healing and embodiment through various modalities and group processes. In these mini salon sessions Jenny, Ce and I will be offering powerful medicine that supports us on the path of self healing and awakening to our true essence the evening includes:
  • kinesiology
  • hands on touch and healing
  • embodiment practice and energy work
  • herbal cordials
  • guided meditations

We will tap into our body wisdom and feel and celebrate the radiant energy of being alive here now, feeling the power that life offers us when we change our perspective and belief systems as well as our relationship to our bodies and the earth.
Come gather with us in community on Tuesday, October 18th from 7-9pm at my home studio in downtown Boulder.

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Space is limited so please rsvp to [email protected] if you want to join us!

Cost: $25

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Tuesday October 18th 7:00-9:00 pm

Tuesday November 15th 7:00-9:00 pm

Today I had one of those days where I felt irritated and short tempered.  I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.  I did my morning meditation.  As I came out I felt into what I needed. I needed to have some alone time in the mountains.  So I created that space with my family and then a friend called and said “Hey, lets go mountain biking with the kids.”  I said yes.  First mistake of the day.

I didn’t listen to what I needed…..

From then on, there were a cascade of events that put simply, drained me from head to toe.  Nothing went smoothly after that.  I had to deal with some technology issues that just about made me want to cry.

Actually, I did cry.  That kinda felt good…..

In my household, I felt tension, especially between me and my husband.  We had another one of our many unproductive conversations of how we are overspending, our never ending story that seems to push us into uncomfortable states of contraction. Why does this cause so much tension and why can’t we stop being victims and take action toward what we really want?  I turn inside and feel that old feeling of inadequacy.

I give it some space and let it breathe. Just breathe….

A few minutes later there is more space and a vulnerability.  It’s raw but it’s real.  I feel whats under all of it.  Then it begins to soften, to lift.  I  just breathe until I feel restored and now that I’ve given that deeper trigger some space, I can look at how I/we can shift the pattern.  I’m grateful for the space that simple breathing gives us……

Something that came up for me while I was participating at a retreat in Montana a few weeks ago was how focused I’ve been for so long on healing and empowering my feminine side. One night we were asked to explore the moon energy, the feminine. I sat under the vast Montana sky, gazing at the soft full moon and shooting stars. The following day we were asked to explore the sun energy during the day. I had the opposite experience. I spent time in the sun, walking, opening to it’s radiant life force energy. I felt the potent energy of the masculine, the more outward, visible part of myself and it’s relationship to the world. There were many times I felt myself wanting to hide from the light and curl up in my cozy moonlit cave but the sun was too hot and bright for that and I stayed with the experience.  It was quite uncomfortable at times but slowly, as I opened, I felt a huge healing and was able to experience the power of that light.

 

For many days following the retreat I became more and more aware of the incredible teaching I had experienced. How important that masculine, solar energy is for me at this time in my life. My comfort zone for many years now has been under that dark night sky. It’s so peaceful and calming but when I spend too much time there, it can actually slow me down beyond what feels good and then I feel disconnected, detached. As I’ve continued to open and explore this more structured upright side of my self , I notice that I feel more alive and more energy to create and offer. I’m actually having fun with being more visible in the world.

As I navigate and flow through these places within myself, I continue learning to listen; when to go in and when to come out. It makes me question who I think I am and open to the possibility of who I am becoming.

 

With Alison Litchfield and Kate Spear

May 12-15th 2016

Hawk Hill Retreat Center outside of Mora, New Mexico

Join us for an inspiring weekend in New Mexico 50 minutes east of Taos. Hawk Hill is a beautiful Santa Fe style retreat home overlooking the Sangre De Cristos Mountain range surrounded by 500 acres of wilderness.

With Alison Litchfield and Kate Spear

 

Retreat will include:

-Daily Yoga and Kirtan
-Writing prompts, creativity processes and inspirations
-Inspiring your creative Muse with a group of 12 dynamic women
-Nourishing organic, high vibrational foods prepared by private chef
-Time alone and/or in nature to nurture your own creative process –
-Community connections

For more information and to register please visit our website at
http://creativeleap.strikingly.com/ and www.hawkhillcenter.com

Space is limited to only 12 women so make sure to save your spot soon!

I just returned from a wintery morning walk in the falling snow and received this beautiful poem from a friend over email. It was timely and I felt it today, “the cold grey falls from the air” death lurking in the starkness of the trees. Where is that spark of life? The light is dim now and there is no where to turn but in. So I go in and in until there is no more in to go, only a standstill. Patiently I wait like I might wait for my lover to come home from a long journey. There’s a trembling excitement in the longing to feel the warmth again, life, to know you, new again. And as the cold flows through my bones I rest in the dark dome of winter, the stark, emptiness of my own being and hers and I love what I am.

Thank you for the inspiration at this mid point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.

Lines for Winter

BY MARK STRAND

for Ros Krauss

Tell yourself
as it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that you will go on
walking, hearing
the same tune no matter where
you find yourself—
inside the dome of dark
or under the cracking white
of the moon’s gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight as it gets cold
tell yourself
what you know which is nothing
but the tune your bones play
as you keep going. And you will be able
for once to lie down under the small fire
of winter stars.
And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back
and you find yourself
where you will be at the end,
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love what you are

Last week before Thanksgiving, I co- facilitated a ceremony of deep healing and opening. A group of amazing, evolved beings came together at a mountain home close to Boulder. Snow was lightly falling outside and inside, the house was dim with fairy lights and candles. As people entered, they immediately smiled with gratitude for the warm welcome. We began yoga with a long supported savasana to get settled. The rest of our practice we dropped into opening our hips and spine, breathing awareness into the various sensations in the muscles, bones, tissues and organs. I could hear exaggerated out breaths of people releasing stress and tension from the day. The room soon began to get quiet and spacious as the sweet music of Deva Premal dropped us into a shared heart space.

Our intention for the evening was to hold a strong container and allow the collective to inform the experience while staying aware of our selves as sovereign beings. There was so much present in the group. The room was alive with everything from tenderness and grief to excitement and anticipation. There was no judgement about what you were bringing. Just a safe container to hold whatever energy was present. The evening unfolded beautifully as the participants, including us as facilitators, fully stepped in mirroring and reflecting to one another all the different beautiful facets of who we are.

My tantric teacher used to say “we are here to make honey and that honey is to be shared.” The name in sanskrit Madhurya means ‘made of honey’. He says to make honey we have to bring our individual experiences back to the community. The bees bring back the nectar and offer it to the collective. Then the collective turns it to honey that is then shared. The sweetness comes from the collective quality of engaging the heart which happened so beautifully throughout our ceremony. To me it feels like the joy of why we are really here. Sometimes it’s beautiful, ecstatic and playful and other times it’s ugly, disgusting and unattractive but as we churn it all together it becomes the sweet grace of being alive.

That night, there were many tears that flowed, hysterical laughs and big heart openings. Together we made beauty from the nectar of each one of our experiences. In these experiences we become whole, sovereign beings and then we get to share it as our contribution if we choose. There is such potential for a massive shift in consciousness from this place.

Once you’ve tasted this sweetness, there is no going back. I can say from experience it becomes a continuous invitation to love your life and this life we are in together. We are madhurya, made of beauty and meant to savor the nectar and step into our worth and value. The universe wants to share the ecstasy of life with us as we share it back in a co-mingling of light and dark and the dance of shiva and shakti (masculine and feminine). Many Elders say there is not a lot of time and there are really no more excuses. I am deeply touched and inspired by all the amazing beings I get to dance and play with in this divine awakening. It is what keeps me awake to the gift of being alive and embodied at this time. With a grateful heart I bow!

I am so in love with the way David Whyte speaks so clearly through his poetry of this time we are experiencing in our evolution of choosing radical truth.  I just completed the first module of Embody Shakti Yogini Teacher Training. We spoke a lot about truth and what that means.  Truth is different for each person because it is one’s own personal experience. In my experience it’s not always easy to stay on this path because not only are we creatures of habit but we can also feel safer in the heard. Discovering our truth requires deep self study and inquiry and the willingness to look at all parts of ourself with radical honesty.  It also means we take full responsibility for our choices and never blame anyone outside of ourselves for the outcome.

I have been a yoga teacher here in Boulder  for almost 20 years and it has been a great edge for me to step into my own creative expression; to find my true voice and offer my truth from the teachings that have moved me along on my evolutionary path. For many of us who are more comfortable in the shadows, it feels very vulnerable and scary to show our authentic selves because it doesn’t always feel pretty. It’s often the part of ourselves we have outcast so we are disassociated from that part.

The first line in this David Whyte poem, “All the True Vows” that speaks so clearly to me is:

Hold to the truth you make every day with your own body, don’t turn your face away..

Turning our face away from our truth, blame others and go about our lives in the same manner we have is easier.  Until of course it’s not.  Until that voice becomes so enraged that she has not had a voice that she starts to lash out at others.  Yes, this is what happened to me and wasn’t pretty at all.  But she spoke loud and clear.  She was angry and she needed to get my attention before it was too late.

Then he finishes with:

Seeing my reflection
I broke a promise
and spoke
for the first time
after all these years

in my own voice,

before it was too late
to turn my face again.

I am living this in my life as we speak.  All the other voices are finally fading away as I break the contracts I once signed. I am speaking for the first time, after all these years, in my own voice and I have never felt more liberated and alive.

When we have the courage to see and give the deeper aspects of ourselves a voice, integrating that into the essence of who we are, everything shifts. Then we open to a world of possibility rather than limitation.

All the True Vows

by David Whyte

All the true vows
are secret vows
the ones we speak out loud
are the ones we break.

There is only one life
you can call your own
and a thousand others
you can call by any name you want.

Hold to the truth you make
every day with your own body,
don’t turn your face away.

Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with.

Those who do not understand
their destiny will never understand
the friends they have made
nor the work they have chosen

nor the one life that waits
beyond all the others.

By the lake in the wood
in the shadows
you can
whisper that truth
to the quiet reflection
you see in the water.

Whatever you hear from
the water, remember,

it wants you to carry
the sound of its truth on your lips.

Remember,
in this place
no one can hear you

and out of the silence
you can make a promise
it will kill you to break,

that way you’ll find
what is real and what is not.

I know what I am saying.
Time almost forsook me
and I looked again.

Seeing my reflection
I broke a promise
and spoke
for the first time
after all these years

in my own voice,

before it was too late
to turn my face again.

– See more at: http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/blog/2012/04/09/david-whyte-all-the-true-vows-2/#sthash.opTFfTCI.dpuf

Falling into Shakti is a 6 week immersion of letting go and releasing as we come into the fall season . This is the time of shedding old skin, letting go, releasing and turning inward to a new change of season and self.

Join me as we descend into the dark time of year and explore the dark aspects of the feminine and explore the places we often hide from. Through exploring the myths and metaphors of the dark Goddesses within our selves, we can free up energy and blockages that may have been unconsciously pushed into the shadow and bring them to the light.  We turn our vulnerabilities into our gifts and purpose. This practice will include yoga and movement, breath work,meditation and writing as well as the nourishment and support of other women.

Fridays 9-10:15 am beginning  October 16th-December 4th (No class Nov. 6th and 27th)

$65.00 for all 6 classes or $15.00 Drop in

To register please email me at [email protected]

(limited to 10 women, please reserve your spot )

“We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy’s fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure–your perfection–is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert- Eat, Pray Love

I Love this quote from one of my favorite books of all time, as it speaks so much to our culture of constantly seeking something outside of us to make us happy. We try so hard, to find ourselves, heal ourselves, to be seen, to make a difference in the world, make it to some illusory place of fame. If I get there, maybe then I will be happy.

I have been through this myself, living in Boulder Colorado the past 20 something years. I have chased the carrot, thinking maybe I will find some final state of well being, bliss, peak state of health or fitness if I keep practicing, healing, studying, meditating. I’ve often wondered, what is this perfection thing I am seeking. Will i ever find it? Is nature perfect? Does it have to try so hard? Perhaps this pot of gold is right beneath us all along and we are looking everywhere but here. What if it is a state of being, a feeling of contentment will all of life, with what is exactly as it is.

I think if we are to evolve our consciousness, the first step is right here. Here’s my personal imput:

Realize who you are are and that everything you are seeking, you already are and as Elizabeth Gilbert beautifully quotes, enter into the silence of the heart. There, you will find the perfection you seek.

Today I took a class from a teacher I used to study with back when I was deeply immersed in my yoga studies before kids. She comes in from Italy every so often now and brings her Italian charm as well as her intense, commanding Iyengar teachings. Though she humiliated me a bit in the beginning of class as Iyengar teachers have a reputation for doing, I thoroughly enjoyed the class and walked away with something very valuable.

She came over to me as we were working in a pose and looked at me and said “When we are young we can get away with pushing ourselves but when we get older we need to get quite and still. We have to let the inner body expand out more. This is the work.”

Though I knew this on many levels, hearing it in that moment was invaluable. I could see so clearly how I was pushing, not yielding. I was willing my shoulders to open instead of inviting the opening to occur from within, from the breath and the ease. Because I was pushing, my shoulders were resisting more to opening. I always find this a great metaphor in yoga. The more we push against the resistance, the tighter and more resistant we become.

I have spent way too much of my life trying too hard and pressing my way through things. It’s part of how I have avoided feeling too much. I think it’s actually a symptom of our culture and how we are taught from a young age to avoid feeling and go forward.

I listened to what she said. I took it all the way in. I thought to myself, “This is why I came today. This is my yoga.” I never take these things for grated anymore, especially when there’s opportunity for growth. In that moment, I wanted to be done with this pattern. It was no longer serving me. It was a simple choice. I took a deep breath and softened from inside. I felt vulnerable, and some emotions surfacing around how much I’ve relied on that strength and used it as a way to protect my sensitivities. Then I softened again and opened to the energy expanding from inside out, allowing it to fill and expand.

An old pattern shed today with an old teacher that I have not seen in a long time. I am grateful for these teachers that have come and go through my years of practice, offering pieces of wisdom fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.

This afternoon I sat on my patio, aware of the birds and the fragrant, spring breeze. The sun was shining through the bright blue sky and the temperature was warm and comfortable. I was tuned into the peace that nature was revealing, receiving all that I needed. I exhaled my breath letting go of any effort to get somewhere or do something. I listened to the quietness and heard the call of the birds, singing the language of spirit and the beauty of life’s song.

Hearing them here in my backyard, nowhere else to go but here and now, I rested in the sweet opening to all of life and I was reminded that all is well in my backyard. All is well in me. At least for this moment and any moment that I choose to invite the opening.