Something that came up for me while I was participating at a retreat in Montana a few weeks ago was how focused I’ve been for so long on healing and empowering my feminine side. One night we were asked to explore the moon energy, the feminine. I sat under the vast Montana sky, gazing at the soft full moon and shooting stars. The following day we were asked to explore the sun energy during the day. I had the opposite experience. I spent time in the sun, walking, opening to it’s radiant life force energy. I felt the potent energy of the masculine, the more outward, visible part of myself and it’s relationship to the world. There were many times I felt myself wanting to hide from the light and curl up in my cozy moonlit cave but the sun was too hot and bright for that and I stayed with the experience. It was quite uncomfortable at times but slowly, as I opened, I felt a huge healing and was able to experience the power of that light.
For many days following the retreat I became more and more aware of the incredible teaching I had experienced. How important that masculine, solar energy is for me at this time in my life. My comfort zone for many years now has been under that dark night sky. It’s so peaceful and calming but when I spend too much time there, it can actually slow me down beyond what feels good and then I feel disconnected, detached. As I’ve continued to open and explore this more structured upright side of my self , I notice that I feel more alive and more energy to create and offer. I’m actually having fun with being more visible in the world.
As I navigate and flow through these places within myself, I continue learning to listen; when to go in and when to come out. It makes me question who I think I am and open to the possibility of who I am becoming.