When Everything Feels Tense

Today I had one of those days where I felt irritated and short tempered.  I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.  I did my morning meditation.  As I came out I felt into what I needed. I needed to have some alone time in the mountains.  So I created that space with my family and then a friend called and said “Hey, lets go mountain biking with the kids.”  I said yes.  First mistake of the day.

I didn’t listen to what I needed…..

From then on, there were a cascade of events that put simply, drained me from head to toe.  Nothing went smoothly after that.  I had to deal with some technology issues that just about made me want to cry.

Actually, I did cry.  That kinda felt good…..

In my household, I felt tension, especially between me and my husband.  We had another one of our many unproductive conversations of how we are overspending, our never ending story that seems to push us into uncomfortable states of contraction. Why does this cause so much tension and why can’t we stop being victims and take action toward what we really want?  I turn inside and feel that old feeling of inadequacy.

I give it some space and let it breathe. Just breathe….

A few minutes later there is more space and a vulnerability.  It’s raw but it’s real.  I feel whats under all of it.  Then it begins to soften, to lift.  I  just breathe until I feel restored and now that I’ve given that deeper trigger some space, I can look at how I/we can shift the pattern.  I’m grateful for the space that simple breathing gives us……