This morning my husband and I took our morning walk on the beach. We hold this time as an opportunity to deepen our dialogue around our visions and what we want to manifest in our lives. Today we were talking about the challenge of not knowing what’s next as we come to the last two months of our journey here on the west coast. Moments later we came upon some whales on the rocky tip of Point Dume, our favorite walk where the mountains meet the sea. We were also awakened last night by an owl outside our bedroom hooting for hours as if it were speaking to us directly. I am hearing the nature spirits loud and clear on this land. They are teaching us to navigate through the unknown, rest in the unrest and be open to the possibilities that we can’t yet see. I sense many of us are experiencing this as we navigate through these times collectively. It’s uncomfortable and at times I find myself wanting to run home to comfort and safety. Then I wonder if that even exists for me in the same way anymore.

The ocean is such a force and can be scary. As we stood on the rocks, waves powerfully and violently crashing into shore, I let that force move through my whole body.  It was exhilarating! I’ve found that spending this intimate time with the ocean has been transformative on so many levels. If you allow it to, it tosses and tumbles you on every level, showing you what needs to be let go of and refining you like a pearl in an oyster; into the essence of who you truly are. I am humbled by natures teachings and hold a vision that together we open our arms wide to the great mystery of life!!!

We are officially into March. Both of my kids were born this month and I’m always reminded of this time of birth and renewal. Our theme this month of March will be exploring one of the ethical principles of Yoga in the niyamas called santosha which means complete contentment or acceptance. The niyamas are an important part of our yoga practice as they represent a shift in emphasis from the external/behavior to internal/attitude.

Santosha is about actively cultivating appreciation for what we already have. Contentment shouldn’t be confused with laziness or passivity.  In fact, in the Yogic view, it is exactly the opposite: being appreciative of who we are and what we have actually helps us achieve the physical and mental state from which it is most effective and powerful to act.  When we let go of the need to control or change our external situation we open and allow space for something new to emerge.

I have been in deep practice with this in the last weeks here in California. Things haven’t turned out the way we expected. We are living in a small villa, on top of each other without any personal space and at times I want to pull my hair out. Change is never easy. This is a big change for us as a family. But the more I fight against it, the harder it seems to get. When I consciously practice santosha it helps me to pause and appreciate things as they are; I am able to relax inside and see a different perspective.

How we can apply santosha on and off our mat may look like giving up our need to be somewhere or someone we are not and just be with ourselves in the moment. To rest inside ad listen to the breath and feel the body softening. Santosha invites us to pause, open our eyes a little more and accept ourselves just as we are. From there, we can see a much broader view of the world.

In the midst of packing to go on an adventure to the west coast for the winter I am planning my fourteenth annual women’s Solstice practice. We are calling in the Hindu Goddess Chinnamasta, the headless goddess of radical self-transcendance. From the yogic spiritual tradition, the condition of the headless state represents in fact our true inner nature, of the divine and perfectly detached witness. She’s known for holding her own head and drinking the blood from her decapitated head. I know, it’s rather extreme but given the fact that we seem to be in very extreme and polarized times I find her to be a very helpful energy to engage with.

Her image is shocking and disturbing and yet she is the power of consciousness to see itself. She stand’s naked and raw in her truth. Her blood represents our own nourishment. I had my head chopped off last night just moments after reading about her. A curveball came right at my husband and I. He had his own process and I literally broke down and could no longer think straight. I felt I was being challenged to look fearlessly and ask “Who am I, really?”. I knew in every bone of my body that from that point on I would have to be willing to step beyond all my comfort zones and trust in the unfolding of what was in front of us in order to move forward. I was being asked to sacrifice my ego in the service of something bigger and greater to emerge.

“Hum, hum, hum”……..I chanted over and over as I sobbed in the uncertainty of what was to come. I was aware of her energy asking me to drink the shakti of my own pain, daring me to see into my own raw authenticity; both my shadow and light. “Show me this place that I am broken and show me how I am to enter a new level of self-transcendence”, I asked.

In Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti she says “The path of consciousness demands that we look at both our light and our shadow gifts, to know what needs to be contained and harvested inwardly and what we can appropriately give to others. The image of Chinnamasta so often shows up for us when we are experiencing a form of inner death and rebirth. In a deep transformative process, we willingly become naked, offering up our excuses, our outworn defense strategies, and our masks for the sake of healing. Anyone willing to look into and heal their own unconscious wounding is actually giving a gift to the culture at large: because they do it, others can share the wisdom of their journey. A stream of wisdom rises up when you have severed the head of your unconscious acquiescence to shadow dynamics. Because you have done it, others can also do it”.

Today was a new day. I woke up to the snow falling lightly and the beautiful stillness that this winter morning brings. There was new possibility in front of my husband and me. A new opening that we had not been able to see  before last night. We could both see ourselves more directly, in our naked, authentic selves: in our true power. Everything we think we know we are being asked to let go of. These times are anything but easy. The old way is dying for real and we are now in the flames of the fire.

I feel many of us are honing our warrior skills for these times ahead. To be a great warrior we must look at our own pain and enemies within and be able to drink the blood as Chinnamasta does. As I spoke of earlier we are all in a process of inner death and rebirth wether we are conscious of it or not. If we choose to go in and face all of ourselves, we can then use our powerful life-blood, awakened kundalini energy to nourish ourselves and those around us.

So I leave you with these questions for yourself in these uncertain times on the planet:  Who are you without your normal roles, without the head of your thoughts? What is left when you let go of your mind?  Can you tap into your stored passion, your life force and drink the bliss of your own blood?

Blessings all ways,

Alison

I feel many of us are honing our warrior skills for these times ahead. To be a great warrior we must look at our own pain and enemies within and be able to drink them as Chinnamasta does. Then we must use our powerful life-blood, awakened kundalini energy to nourish ourselves and those around us.